About The Native Concern:

I am a software engineer by profession since January of 2004. I prepared for IIT for one year after my high school was over in 1998 but didn't secure enough marks or rank in IIT-JEE or any other engineering exam I gave so I had to take admission into private college only. I never thought that I will become a software engineer, but it was by chance only. Somehow the best combination of private college and course available to me was Computer Science Engineering only. But to be honest I have felt this job always as a burden on me. I have never enjoyed my profession and I don't even have enough confidence to carry myself forward in my field. So, all my progress so far in my profession has been because I have spent so many years in this job and not because I am overly brilliant at what I do. The worst part is I am always afraid whether I will be able to even do my job or assignment that I give to me. I always feel that I will fail at my job and then what will happen. This fear of failing I had since my childhood. During my early education also I was never ever confident in whatever I did. I am largely introvert and totally lack confidence, due to which I am always afraid and appear to be poor in whatever I do even though I may not be that bad. Though my salary is not bad but unfortunately, I still don't own a car or house. I first bought house in Gurgaon which I sold and then after that I bought house in Bengaluru also which again I sold to buy a better house, but in the end even after 20 years of job and 70 lacs per CTC I don't own a house or a four-wheeler. The current apartment that I have booked, builder is not giving to me. The four-wheeler I bought a couple of years ago also was laid waste when a wall fell over it. I have never enjoyed in my life and have always been away from my home. I was sent to boarding at the age of 7 and half years and since then I am roaming. First it was boarding school, then college and then job, all away from my home. The worst duration of my life was from the 1995 to 2003 i.e. senior days of my schooling and my college time. I don't at all feel proud of anything in my life except the fact that I didn't commit suicide in spite of all the failures and dissatisfactions. The job I do, I don't enjoy and now so far, I have come in this career that I don't know what I will do if I leave this career path. I don't know any other skill also. I am sure I am being punished for my past lives’ bad karma. So, I want to know, is there any ray of hope for me. If not software engineer what other career path I can choose now and when will my time come. Am I going to struggle this way through out my life and remain dissatisfied and until the time I die, or some fortunes will come to me. I changed my residence recently on 28th April this year; I moved to a new rented place and after that I am facing even move issues in workplace and at home.

Native Chart Highlight:

Future,